Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationary! (wclimits) wrote in badpoetryinc,
Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationary!

Moth vs. Flame

I am too delicate;
I cannot be touched,
And held, and kept
Without taking away
My freedom
Of flight.
I would wilt, and
Under the weight of
Even your most gentle
Of caresses.
And maybe that is why
Instead I try
To burn.
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good poem, BUT

why the title "moth vs. flame" ? it doesn't fit what the poem is saying, unless i've misread.

there: how's that for not-so-gentle?
Mmm, yes, I guess maybe the point I was trying to get across wasn't quite clear.
I called it Moth vs. Flame, because to me, it more represented the idea of running away from anything real, and sweet, and gentle, and loving...
And instead turning to something more volatile and potentially destructive...
Therefore, making the conflict between the moth and the flame... rather than me and my inability to be in a successful, loving relationsip.
Anyways, if that makes any sense at all to you, then excellent!
But, thank you for the feedback. I always so often crave constructive criticism, but very seldom recieve it.